This is my, Barbara Doduk’s response to Hayley’s letter to me.
After I was booted from the Victims of Matthew Good Facebook Group on April 13th 2021 – Hayley knew I still had friends on the inside. Sounds so much more exciting using those terms doesn’t. Like some spy shit. It so wasn’t.
So Hayley posted a message inside the group – for me. For one of my “flying monkeys” to send me. I got it.
Instead of privately messaging a letter to me – she posted it in the Facebook group.
Why?
Because it further propped up her new narrative about me and it gave the women negative ideas about me to fester in their heads, and they would not SEE my response unless they bothered to seek it out. Because I was no longer a member and banned from the Facebook Group by Hayley prior to her posting this letter.
It was a very controlling manipulative move on her part. So is my response.
Bet she never saw this website coming as a response.
Just You
I wasn’t on a rant on IG or Twitter. I merely retracted my previous support of Hayley’s claim of abuse – and said I now questioned everything SHE SAID.
I suppose to her this is a rant.
I wonder what she’ll call this web site. More “bragging”? I think I have been pretty open about myself, and my life and how unflattering some of my choices have been in the past – to suggest I am a braggart in any form is amusing to me. I don’t paint myself in a flattering way here.
I am honest about the hurt I have caused others in the past due to my selfish choices. I own my past – the good and the bad. I own my choices in life, whether they were right or wrong, I made them. I stand before the world flawed and imperfect, and admit my demons. I apologize. Even if I don’t regret my choices, and would do every single one again.
I did vaguely respond to this letter from Hayley – in now deleted Twitter posts. As I did to the first questions they threw at me, about the list of things I deleted. (I covered that in the post titled Victims of Matthew Good Facebook Group.)
After the Sherri Twitter Account showed up posting wildly in desperation, I decided my best move with all of this was to pull back. One person against a frantic army is a losing battle. Wars are won with strategy.
So here now is my full response to her letter above.
In response to #1.
No one actually did seem to know Kim – only Hayley did. They might have “messaged” with a user account named Kim M but as shown in the comments I have copies of – no one knew who she is actually. Only Hayley had the actual secret identity of the woman in question. If others knew – they never let on to me.
To date, I still have no clue who “Kim” is or what her full story is.
As for being late to the party, what can I say I am fashionable. Frankly I laugh at that to this day. I wasn’t some salivating fan following Hayley‘s Instagram. I didn’t see the videos posted in Nov / Dec 2020 about her wanting to take down Matthew.
I wasn’t part of the secret chat group that plotted all that. I wasn’t in the fan websites. I wasn’t even on Reddit. I wasn’t part of the Facebook Group that was created January 3, 2021 or even involved because I didn’t fucking know ANY of it existed.
I didn’t know about anything to do with Hayley’s claim of abuse until the news splashed the Instagram post across my computer screen on Feb 11, 2021.
As I have shown I contacted Hayley after that news broke. I have shown I asked to join the public Facebook Group Feb 21, 2021 but was denied. I have shown I then messaged Hayley again during that next month. I have shown I then asked again to join that FB group and finally was accepted into the group on March 12th, 2021.
Suggesting that I should some how have been magically aware of the secret society Hayley had created with these women, that contacted her regarding Matthew Good, prior to Global News media printing the story on Feb 11, 2021 – is just stunning. Egomaniacal on her part.
Who the fuck is Hayley to me? No one.
Aside from being aware that Hayley was Matthew’s newest shiny show piece of ass – I honestly had zero knowledge of Hayley’s life, and very little of his. Aside from MG and I occasionally texting or messaging between 2018 and 2020 – which I have explained on this site – I could not have cared less about Hayley or him or whatever the fuck you all were doing.
Now – before anyone steps off here, in regard to this website, this is a response in defence of me.
It is also in defence of the women that I do believe have a right to feel hurt by him. (But mostly this is about me. Call me vain.)
Even Hayley has a right to feel rejected and hurt by being lied to and cheated on. Yes you heard that right. I have sympathy. It sucks to be lied to.
Cheaters use gaslighting to deflect their cheating. As someone that was cheated on, maybe now Hayley can sympathize with the hurt she caused her own husband Andrew – when she cheated on him and lied to him – to be with Matt.
I am also some what exposing Matthew Good, myself and everyone in this fucking site. Because as a dear beloved friend of mine tells me (not MG so don’t assume that) – I live my life by a scorched earth policy. Another military move.
As I have stated – I believe everything happens when it happens – for a reason. A purpose.
I am a writer, been writing since I was child, and I have been spending my life waiting for the right thing to write about, to present itself. I find myself right now on a sabbatical from the daily grind of a day job and I have the time off, to spend days just typing this. Serendipity.
I am a single mother to a child, a daughter to my aging parents, and sister to a big brother and a member of an incredible extended family that, like most, has its ups and downs.
As much as it may seem like I do, I actually I don’t spend my days on social media looking for likes. I know the intoxication of that. Been there, done that as a blogger long ago.
At the time of this post I am an old woman (turning 49 in 2022) – dealing with peri-menopause and I am overweight and tired of the shit. I have a small monkeysphere of dear friends. Some since kindergarten. They know me. Not the public stuff – they know the intimate stuff. The real stuff. They know how I would give the shirt off my back for them. And how I have.
Yes, you can probably find some folks I have wronged, or rubbed the wrong way or given a bad impression to, because as someone that says shit as she sees it, I have offended a few folks in the many orbits around the sun I have made. I clearly still do piss people off with my blunt bitch approach. Heck I can give you the names of a handful of people if you want to ask them about what a shitty person I am capable of being. They have never forgiven me, well some have, and me them. Life goes on. We all grow, and learn. I don’t deny my mistakes. I own my shit.
Not as a woman but as an imperfect human being.
If we as a society are to BELIEVE ALL WOMEN. I have to ask. Am I not a woman? What about me excludes me from that? Do we only believe women when they act as victims? That is a mistake. It casts all woman as weaker, as incapable of being anything but a victim. It keeps womankind down and controlled.
Victimhood is a sickness in our society. It holds everyone down. Don’t be a victim. Do not come at me with “as a woman” statements like it somehow requires I accept anything any woman says.
Life isn’t that simple. Life is complicated and messy and unpleasant and mean, and it can kick the shit out of anyone at anytime without justification.
Again, never said I was a victim. Matt and I had no contact from November 2020 until after April 13th 2021. I don’t feel special. I don’t have that weakling of a mind! He didn’t manipulate me.
And wow, when they go off the rails in their paranoia it is spectacular! What I find offensive is them calling themselves “survivors” of abuse. That is just fucking gross. Talk to some real “survivors” about what they survived. Frankly – I think anyone that falsely accuses a man to ruin his reputation should be charged with a crime.
In response to #2.
I cover that in the Facebook post here. By “unblocking” the users that were blocked – it merely removed them permanently from the membership list.
It did not “reinstate” their ability to post or view the group. That is not how that works. Once someone was blocked, they were removed. Those individuals, they would have had to ask to re-join. And I am sure as Hayley and Kim were the new Admins in control at that time, they would not have been allowed back in. The Admins are mistaken in that perception of what happened.
Hayley could see the Activity Log of what I did in the group. She could also see the member list and were these “unblocked” individual now on it? No. They were not. The accusation is false.
In response to #3.
I cover that in the Facebook post here. I didn’t delete anything that was “testimony” by anyone.
I covered that rather in depth in my other post. The things I removed were my personal posts, and those posts that were not “testimony” so to speak.
There was very little of other people’s posts in fact. I removed posts people made about making rules, or attacking fans, or slandering other men associated with Matt. Go read what was removed – I did list it in another post.
Also – it was taking place at 4:30am for Hayley. Not me.
I live in BC – after I deleted my posts I went to bed at 1:30am my time.
When Hayley said she changed her mind, and told me she was going to contact Kim M, it is at 4:30 am her time. I woke up the next morning and I was banned and was being smeared by the women in the group.
In response to #4.
I just jumped in there eh? After, not knowing about it until February 11, being rejected the first time I asked to join the group – I just jumped in there in mid-March 2021 and took over? Get real.
No one was posting anything! The group actually looked dead when I arrived.
I think I have clearly shown the time line of how I was accepted in the Facebook Group. I shared some shit, and all of the comments on the posts were grateful, and I was supportive. In fact in another post one of the screenshots shows Hayley thanking me for sharing. A few hours later she calls me evil. Whataya gonna do?
The women thanked me for showing that this is a pattern for Matthew Good. That he repeatedly used the same tactics to seduce his fans. The receipts I have prove I was supportive.
I also did tell Hayley about the text conversation I had with Matthew Good about Hayley and her daughter. I asked her if she wanted to see it first BEFORE I posted it. She didn’t want to.
She didn’t say I could not post it. It was merely MG mentioning her daughter in passing. The way Hayley paints this is so far from “dropping info about her daughter.”
The fact is, she didn’t like what HE said.
Matt Good said he had only ever met Hayley’s daughter once.
Once. Once in 3 years. Yet she was living with his parents when she came to BC? And Hayley asked him to marry her? (Yeah Hayley proposed marriage to Matthew Good in September 2020 before his mom died.)
Matt also told me in that text convo that Hayley’s daughter didn’t take a shine to him, as young children often don’t to strangers. I even suggested that given more time together maybe Hayley’s daughter would warm up to him. As a mother of daughter myself I was offering him advice on how to make their relationship work!
For goodness sake – Hayley makes it out like I doxxed them or something – when it was nothing.
But truly everything for Hayley was triggering then, it was her most used word. And painting me as the evil doer – and posting this letter in the group – FOR THE GROUP – it wasn’t really for me – it was a manipulative tactic.
In response to #5.
Fishy as hell. Uh-huh. As I stated in other posts, I have a Gmail account that goes back to 2005. I don’t delete anything (but junk mail flyers) from that email because I don’t have any fishy things to hide.
I suppose fishy people that like to hide shit – think it’s fishy an innocent person would keep their email?
I have fucking letters and wedding invitations and baby shower invites and old birthday cards and boxes of keepsakes in my garage too. Heck, my blog until 2011, when I stopped posting, actually all still exists too! It is just is offline.
Gmail gives you like 15 GB of space, and the only stuff I don’t keep is fluff. I can go back and find lots of old correspondence with loads of people. I can go back and see comments that were left on my blogs. I can go back and find old receipts from shopping trips. It is a fantastic thing. (Even if Google is spying on me.)
Is it fishy that any of the other women that have old correspondence have theirs?
Why is it only me that is the fishy one? Raina The Mermaid kept banging on about wanting to find her old hard drive to find her old emails. Others said they were disappointed their old email accounts on hotmail or MySpace were now gone. It wasn’t fishy that other women had screenshots of their messages.
But me, I was the exception because – why? – because I said I was NOT a victim?
Well – guess what – I wasn’t the only woman to say I wasn’t a victim either.
Shocker. In fact, one of the other women I talked to privately has a shit load of emails and hilarious stick figure drawings, that she shared with me, from the years she was his mistress from a decade ago. So really, is it fishy?
I explained why I deleted my posts. I explained why I suggested the Facebook group be removed.
If the user account Kim M that was the sole ADMIN of the group had been “hacked” as the group members so flippantly suggested, WHY WOULD they want their personal information exposed?
That is the fishy bit. Why would a group that claimed to be a SAFE place to share very personal and intimate details about alleged sexual abuse claims be OKAY with it being under the control of Raeleigh or Matthew? The two people they accused of hacking the account. Or anyone for that matter.
None of that makes any sense. Unless it was a lie.
Or, unless that was what they secretly were hoping was happening. Were they secretly hoping he was there watching them all? It is puzzling. And again, I urge you to read the post about the events that surrounded that April 12th, 2021 day.
In response to #6.
As I stated clearly, I just didn’t believe Hayley’s claims. Just her. I posted that online. I don’t know her story. I know as much as anyone else does. That Hayley was cheated on by Matt, that she felt manipulated. She NEVER told me her story directly. Her story was not in the group – while I was there. She had never shared her story publicly anywhere in any details as far as I can tell. I wasn’t in the other super secret group chat.
I posted that I believe the sexual encounters left these women feeling rejected.
Posted I still didn’t personally speak with any women about physical abuse or physical aggressive behaviour or anything illegal. There just weren’t any in the group when I arrived late to the “movement” as she calls it. So gross to call it a movement.
So no, I didn’t see anything utterly damaging, aside from the fact that he fucked and chucked a bunch of women, and they were pissed about being treated like disposable groupies.
It sucks. I know, he did that to me, or tried to make me feel shitty by dismissing me that same way all those years ago in 2000. I shared that with all the group.
I knew how they felt. I knew their resentment. I knew how bad that feels to be treated like garbage like that by him. I felt their pain, that they felt rejected, they felt dismissed, they felt treated like disposable, they felt duped, they felt conned.
I could go on, but I was right there supporting them in their anger and pain. I have the comments these women made. I didn’t shit on anyone while in the group. I didn’t shit on anyone after I was “chucked for doing something weird and fishy” according to Hayley.
I just asked the natural questions that came up.
Who really is Kim M? Who was in control of that “hacked” Admin account? Who was really running this show? I have my theories.
You Take It, On The Chin Hayley
My statement about hoping not to get lawyers involved was due to libel comments about me, being made in the group after Hayley booted me out. Suddenly it was an attack on my character.
My comment about getting a lawyer was to show, I would NOT tolerate them trying to CANCEL me or harass me or threaten me or anyone in my monkeysphere. I would not stand by while they tried to cancel me the way I witnessed them try to cancel others.
I watched them battle – writing emails to people’s employers – and battling a specific woman with their back and forth Instagram posts. Hayley even called the police on that one woman, at one point claiming Matthew Good was controlling her. Matthew says adamantly that he doesn’t know who that woman is.
I watched them continually slander a fan named April. Then I watched them go after YouTuber Aaron Richmond – and he personally told me that, in the women’s secret chat, these women planned to do something to his dogs and were using google maps to find out where he walked them! (Clearly everyone in Hayley’s inner circle weren’t as loyal as she imagined, because they leaked those details to Aaron.)
My comment about getting a lawyer clearly worked. I am not trying to defame Hayley with this website, I am merely defending myself against the false allegations she stated against me.
Some Stuff for my Lawyer
Here is an example of some of Hayley’s comments about me in April 2021.
I could do a post about Jay’s comment, and her story. But honestly I don’t recall making anyone cry those two days in Alberta in 2000. I am still friends with several of the women in the group of us that were there in Alberta in 2000. They also don’t recall me making anyone cry. Or me ever calling someone a stalker in some message board afterward. But okay Jay, if you were crying because of some remark I might have made in April 2000, I am truly sorry.
Here is a couple of my Twitter replies to everything else.
My kid is into anime, like Genshin Impact and Death Note and My Hero Academia and Hunter x Hunter to name just a few. I can’t tell you how many anime shows we have watched together. Books read together.
A lot have demons and superpowers.
We also enjoyed watching the show Disenchantment, and one of the main characters is Luci. (See animation above.) He is a demon that everyone mistakes for a cat and we loved him. So my Twitter had a lot of jokes about being a demon on it.
It was not fucking literal.
That I have to even say this is mind boggling.
Not Transphobic
Backstory: (You can now read it here under the title Not to B Transphobic):
Years ago the beloved friend of mine (the same one that says I have a scorched earth policy) his ex-wife is a hair waxer for a living, or was. His ex-wife had a home business. One day Jonathan Yaniv, contacted her as a trans-woman named Jessica and asked to have a bikini wax. The ex-wife declined the service. Yaniv sued her in BC Tribunal Court. Actually, Yaniv dropped the suit against her when a lawyer offered to represent her. But Yaniv went on to sue MANY other women, most notably women of colour. You want a racist, look up Yaniv. It is a well known situation out here in the west coast, and it even made world news. Comedian Ricky Gervais even joked about it!
So I defended my friend, and his ex-wife. And all those women that were sued and those women WON their case by the way. Yaniv was ordered to pay them.
If you go look through my story, posted here, you will also trip over the fact I was someone that attending something called the Betty Page Social Club in the mid-90’s. The Vancouver local was run by an amazing woman named Velvet Steel. She is on my socials to this day, in my Facebook friends etc. You can ask her if I am Transphobic.
I am sure all those nights I attended drag shows at The Odyssey and was offered the opportunity to be a model in a fashion show by a drag queen, must mean I am a horrible transphobe. I am sure the year K and I spent helping our friend create a website for his comedy act TrannyForce was just me pretending not to hate them.
Get bent. Your lies about me are full of holes.
Just because I don’t like that safe spaces in women’s shelters, for biological woman suffering from actual sexual assault and abuse, are often asked to share a small room with someone that is still a biological male, and that it would be actual trauma and actually triggering for those women fleeing abusive homes, to be housed with a person that is a male bodied person – THAT doesn’t make me a shitty person. I want to protect safe spaces for girls and women.
(UPDATE April 2023: Funny enough now Hayley seems to be on Twitter defending the same sorts of things, like biological men staying the fuck out of women’s sports. Go figure!)
I Have Been Abused
Has Hayley ever volunteered at an actual women’s shelter? Or a crisis line? Does she know what actual abusive horrific traumatizing relationships are? I don’t for a minute think she does. She is using that stigma to paint herself as a victim when truly, her trauma, is nothing comparable.
Has she ever had to call the police because a man was being physically violent with her, and then have to go in the police car to the hospital emergency and strip down, and wait for a female officer to come and examine her body?
I FUCKING HAVE.
I have a copy of the restraining order and copy the charges to prove it. See:
FYI – I dropped the charges later on, upon his agreement that he receive treatment. It was not a sexual assault, it was a horrible physical one, where I was held by my throat on the ground. I was not perfect either that evening but it shouldn’t have got that far. I remind myself of my flaws that evening – I could have walked away but I was very drunk, it was my birthday. I will however never forget that night. Nor will he. I won’t let him. I won’t let us.
I have been nothing but brutally and embarrassingly honest.
So tell me again, how I am fishy?
Please, tell me.
Updated September 23, 2023 – Uploaded January 4, 2022