Regretless B – Part 2
Regretless B is me. Barbara Doduk. This is the one where I tell you about how I ended up making this website about the Cancelled Career and MeToo of Matthew Good. Then how it evolved into a deep dive into my own vices.
MGB 1998
At some point around this time in 1998, honestly it was a long time ago, Matthew Good Band did an autograph session and I went. Matt and I had all ready been chatting on his web site chat forum for sometime by then. He used to do these monthly Manifestos where he answered questions at the end. He called it 1-800-Idiot Savant.
#13) Coat hangers. Really! — in July 1998 was a comment to me. Not that that makes me special, clearly he interacted with a lot of fans. Just thought I would note that that is how far back this story goes.
I had mentioned to Matthew Good, in our many conversations, that I had a vinyl record of disco Star Wars tunes. I brought the album cover and had the whole group sign it at the fan session in 1998. The cover got stuck in my bag and I had to really yank it out, and the sudden motion freaked him out. I remember Dave Genn thinking this was the coolest album ever.
Later on I gave that album cover to a fan of the band named Krysia – when she came to stay at my townhouse on the mountain.
Yeah, I was that kind of person, and many online friends from around the continent came to stay with me. Beata (also mentioned in the July 1998 1-800-Idiot Savant comments) flew out here and stayed with me too, back then she was in love with Lenny the kid that ran the MGB web site. I still keep in contact with both of them.
This was the record cover but of course, the one I had would have the MGB signatures on it. Star Wars and Other Galactic Funk – I am pretty sure I still have the vinyl record in my keepsakes, I only gave away the cover. I wonder if that signed cover still exists? Enjoy listening to this gem, from my childhood.
B a Fan or a Friend
Eventually, in the tail end of 1998, the conversations I had with Matthew Good steered to more personal topics. He claimed he wasn’t happy with Kylie, the woman he lived with at that time, and asked me about my divorce, from David Doll, that I finalized in November 1998.
Matt and I talked some deep personal stuff. Or so I thought.
Not just through the web site chats or emails, we were on the phone chatting in person – a lot. He invited me to meet him in December 1998 but it just didn’t pan out. It was honestly not comfortable for me, when Kiley would walk in the room with him – while we were talking on the phone – and he’d hang up on me. That was a very bad sign. I didn’t stop talking to him though. I wanted what I wanted.
I attended the CFOX New Year’s Eve Fox Fest with my girlfriends December 31, 1998 and with the help of Blair Dobson (the Dead Surf Kiss singer) who plays the devil in the MGB music video for Hello Time Bomb (pictured below) – we all attended the after party.
Briefly I wished Matthew and the guys a Happy New Year, Todd Kerns was there too. It was cold so I was wearing my oversized favourite blue sweater, and I remember one of the other guy’s girlfriend being snarky and commenting on me hiding my tits.
I suppose we were intruders, but Blair had brought us along and we only stayed a short spell.
At that time, I was dating another singer/musician Rod Black (Jet Black Stare) – I often discussed Rod – with Matt and vice versa – and it was my intent to see Rod after I left the MGB after party. My friend TB and I left to attend another house party with Blair Dobson. We didn’t stay there long either, we left and I drove to pick up Rod and went back to my home on the mountain.
B in Latex
In the further telephone conversations with Matt in the beginning of 1999, it came up that my ex-husband and I used to attend fetish nights at the Betty Page Social Club. I was still attending some here and there with my ex and his friends and occasionally with new friends. Matthew was fascinated with the fact that I owned a latex cat suit – and by this point we had made it clear – there was a mutual sexual attraction between us.
On March 18, 1999, two weeks after my 26th birthday, Matt dared me to wear the latex cat suit and come to the Greenhouse Studios where they were recording the album Beautiful Midnight.
The studio wasn’t far from my home. So I went. I didn’t know if we would have sex, it was just fun and I was impulsively daring, and I have never been shy about living life on the edge – like that.
It flies in the face of the anxiety crippled version of myself – I know. It is a persona, I can dress into. It became a character shield, and an extension of my true self.
Call it crazy if you want, that’s your label not mine.
I am sure it was a sight to see when I showed up that evening, and Matthew showed me around the recording studio, introduced me the people. They were in the middle of recording the album Beautiful Midnight – so you can imagine the host of people that were there, working in the studio, it was a very public meeting.
When Matthew Good offered that we go into an empty studio for privacy to talk, one thing lead to another. And so began our sexual friendship. Afterward we got to know one another in the empty studio, I changed my clothes into something more comfortable, I had a leather knapsack with me, and I hung out like it was nothing. I watched the band play video games in the chill out room. Hearing the recordings echo through the walls.
I still remember when I finally left to go home, I had lost my car keys and had to come back inside the studio to look for them. Or was it him? Nah, Pretty sure it was me because I went inside with him – I am still always misplacing them to this day. I know we had to walk back inside and it was like walking in on people talking about you. I think they were actually at the bottom of my backpack the whole time.
Notorious B
After that first night in March 1999, Matthew Good invited me to Greenhouse Studios a few more times, until I think people there complained. So he would leave the studio, and frequently he drove up to the townhouse I owned on Burnaby Mountain in Forest Grove.
I was the other woman.
(Realistically now, I was probably just one of the many other women in his life, but I didn’t really care so much, I knew what the deal was.)
I remember attending NewWave-aoke with my ex-husband David Doll and introducing Matt to David. Matt was shocked at how my ex-husband looked. Then I remember the first big cheque emgee received and him proudly showing me one day in my home.
Emgee was my nickname for him. There were many visits.
Then Matt went to England to finish the recording of the album, I think it was. That summer of 1999 he broke up with Kiley. He came by to tell me about it in person, clearly emotional about the decision. For a moment, I thought about offering him my place to stay – but I didn’t. Matthew Good told me that day, that given he had just he broke up with Kiley, that he wasn’t wanting a serious thing again right away. And there it was – the blow off – frankly that was a bit offensive, it stung, as I thought we had a serious connection, that we were also friends, that we all ready had an agreement to not be exclusive, despite any emotional involvement. I knew he wasn’t relationship material and neither was I.
I was his “other woman” after all, and I was still seeing other men.
Matthew Good rented a posh room at the Vancouver Fairmont Hotel where I visited him one day and then after that he moved into a tiny but nice place on Burnaby Street on the corner of Burrard Street. I would visit him there, and we would continue to play the weird sex card games we had always played, and drink, and eat, and hang and talk and – and then go back to our very separate lives. It was a nice escape to hide away, and be whatever fantasy, for a moment of time.
At some point my friend TB and I ended up having drinks with Dave Genn (MGB, 54-40) one night, and Dave warned me to get out while I could. He also asked me, what my sexual number was, and I remember telling him between 1 and 100 and most likely none of his business. (Link is to an old blog post from 2006 tells some of that story.)
It was a fair warning though I suppose, looking back in hindsight, but at the time I knew the two men never got along, so I chalked it up to that. In hindsight, even then, I knew what a decent man Dave was for that and all of his behaviour. I feel bad so many people at that studio had to cover for me (and any other women Matt may have paraded through their lives) and it wasn’t particularly fair for me to do. I was shameless, and selfish. Still am, but sorry for any pain, discomfort my actions have caused.
My Matthew Good story in 5 parts spanning from 1998 to 2022 explaining our history.
- Part 1: Died for You
- Part 2: Regretless Bee – MGB Days 98-99
- Part 3: Regretless Bee – Bizarre Love Triangle
- Part 4: Regretless Bee – Life is a Bugger
- Part 5: Regretless Bee – B Groupie
Updated October 14th, 2023 Originally uploaded December 31, 2021