“Compulsive sexual behaviour is sometimes called hyper sexuality or sexual addiction. It’s an intense focus on sexual fantasies, urges or behaviours that can’t be controlled. This causes distress and problems for your health, job, relationships or other parts of your life.”
This is my opinion of Matthew Good, and has been for decades. He currently claims he has a psychiatrist, that he is in treatment, but I am not privy to what that treatment is – obviously.
In his final message to me, on February 4th 2022 – he thinks I am wrong in my opinion that he is a sex addict, and is pissed at me for my opinion. Even though, we had previously discussed the matter, as shown in texts below.
Opinions are like…
My opinion: Matthew Good is a sex addict.
Like attract like.
A mental health issue isn’t a free pass – for anyone. Not even me.
But I applaud Matthew Good for getting inside his head. It’s a step in the right direction. I am glad he has a therapist. (As I note in those texts, I have been in many forms of therapy in my life, on and off, voluntarily since the age of 14.)
Hyper-sexuality Disorder might sound like a harmless thing, but it is incredibly destructive behaviour. Particularly for someone also addicted to the often demeaning nature of pornographic fantasies. It can be a horrible cycle of finding new partners willing to participate in these fantasy acts, with the required stimulus possibly escalating, combined with the risks to health and the destruction of your relationships.
There’s no evidence that suggests sex can be defined as an addiction or that repetitive and persistent sexual behaviors are explained by one.
However, compulsive sexual behaviour disorder refers to a long-standing pattern of repetitive sexual behaviours, fantasies, and urges.
“While some sexual offenders may also be sex addicts, there is no evidence that sexual addiction can lead someone to commit sexual offenses.“
Compulsive sexual behaviour is sometimes called hypersexuality, hypersexuality disorder or sexual addiction. It’s an excessive preoccupation with sexual fantasies, urges or behaviours that is difficult to control, causes you distress, or negatively affects your health, job, relationships or other parts of your life.
Mayo Clinic
My Opinion: Matthew Good is a sex addict.
I am not his psychiatrist but I would guess that it developed as a perfect storm scenario.
Storm Ingredient One: In high school, Matthew Good was a comic book, fantasy gamer, geeky loser type that couldn’t get the girl of his dreams – Temple.
MG was obsessed with a woman named Temple and claims she is the inspiration behind ALL the female characters in his writing. He says he even attempted to follow her when she moved up north just out of high school, and has told me (and others) the story many times over the last 25ish years… so obsession is a good term for it, I think.
Side note 1:
In usual serendipitous fashion, I met a man years ago on a dating app. We remain friendly to this day. When he was over visiting my new place, in the summer 2021, he mentioned that he went to school with MG and used to game with him.
Small world. I texted Matt about it and Matt remembers him too.
My friend, has a book that was once Matt’s – that Matt gave him in high school. My friend showed me some of the doodles inside. Rather amusing stuff! Thanks for sharing those doodles with me, Zack.
Side note 2:
When I found myself sitting in the office of Jonathan Simkin (604 Records) way back in the summer of 2006 it felt like he was trying to peg me as a drug addict. I have never been a drug addict.
I have smoked marijuana for a large portion of my life on and off, but mostly for the pain relief before bed time, for my injuries and ongoing problems from that accident that killed me in 1992… And for accessing Interdimensional portals, but that just makes me the-Joe-Rogan-kind-of-crazy. 😉
I only smoke it when my kid isn’t home, so you know. Otherwise, my momming life is 100% sober.
I remember that night in July 2006, I was freezing my ass off in Jonathan Simkin‘s AC jacked office while he was sweating, sitting there at his desk. He made comments about me looking like I was detoxing – I was just freezing my arse off.
As we were discussing life, Matthew Good came into the conversation. He began looking at his phone more, while he signed staff paycheques. Then Simkin said something like ‘you know all his songs are about that girl.’ Referring to Temple. And I said yeah, didn’t she move to the island or up north or something.
I truly believe Simkin was texting Matt at that moment. Like was it supposed to be a legal move? I mean, Jonathan Simkin was perving on my feet on MySpace, that was why we even talked to begin with, so it was a very odd comment to blurt out. Very very odd. That was a weird evening, we even popped out to get food at some place and headed back to the studio to talk more, nothing sexual happened between me and the lawyer – but my life has been weird, so it sorta was just another weird day. But the conversation was a confirmation.
Star-Fishing
Anyway, back to Matthew Good’s porn obsession. Honestly, it could have been any male of that generation, 80’s and 90’s porn videos and eventually online porn availability made it easy to get lost in the fantasy that is pornography. The false idea that women want to be degraded during sex, the submission, then possibly the violence, all of these fantasies make the male seem in control of the female.
Matthew Good was not physical with me, his kink was not physical control, it was mental control. He wanted willing slaves to sexually cater to whatever he told them to do. Most of the time he was just laying there like a starfish. Controlling the women verbally.
Which is a great fantasy for a male, specially for a man that has, in reality, been utterly rejected by women, attractive women who in reality hold the power over whether these males have sexual intercourse or not. Porn is a power trip. The concept of the rejected male is very real.
Someone with a sexual addiction may feel compelled to seek out sex with new partners, even if this means cheating on a partner or having an extramarital affair. They may seek out one-night stands on a regular basis or even cheat multiple times with different partners.
WEB MD
One Social Reality
With Matthew Good, you sprinkle in the fame. Thank goodness he isn’t like Beatles famous but still famous enough to have his women fans willing to have sex with him just because he was to them a well-known musician. Or their idol.
That new found fame in the late 90’s early 2000’s afforded Matthew Good a supply of women, and the opportunity to dismiss them as stalkers or crazy fans, if they told anyone about their sexual hotel rendezvous or back room blow jobs, or tour bus strip shows – or the endless oiled up massages he requested.
Matt didn’t deny or hide his fondness for sexuality.
His writing, his lyrics, the videos. It is there. I remember at the live shows the band would play a small portion of a song by Limp Bizkit called “I did it all for the nookie” and it was all so funny back in the late 90s.
Listen to what he jokes about at the 8:20 minute mark in this video from YouTube, The Story of Matthew Good Band – Much More Music Bio (2001).
He is asked if he gets limos, big cheques and chicks. He jokes that he didn’t get into it for the limos and big cheques. Process if elimination, he says. Har har.
(EDIT: The original video linked was removed from YouTube. I wonder why! Good thing I kept a copy. It was also uploaded to another YouTube.)
My Opinion: Matthew Good is a sex addict.
It is important to note, that even though these women agreed to have sex with him, and agreed to do the sexual things he requested of them, his motive for having that sex with them was – selfish and self-fulfilling.
Matt didn’t give a shit about any of these women or their feelings, he saw them as easy pickings, because they were so willing to have sex with him. He didn’t respect them. How could he. He didn’t have an issue using them and discarding them. And dismissing them as crazy liars if they ratted him out.
I know because he did it to me. Repeatedly, over the early years.
So why did I continue to have a friendship with him, on and off, over the course of the last quarter century? One of the women in the FB group asked me that in the comments.
I suppose my own self-destructive nature drew me to it. I had sexual compulsions. It is a complex answer. Parts of which I myself have a hard time reconciling. It is part of my healing process to understand. I was exposed to the porn my brother hoarded in his room, so for a very early age I was exposed to sex. I was raised on MTV videos, and Miami Vice and Vogue and Cosmo. I was programmed very young to be a sexual object. It is something I have been in therapy for, for decades, and something I continue to explore. And will continue to explore in this website.
Fucking Fans, Literally
Matt is an asshole. In my opinion a sex addicted asshole that treats women as disposable – after he gets them to perform sex acts on him for his own perversions.
I think the behaviour, feeds a monster of insecurity inside him, that truly at the deepest level, he might hate women, because women have had power over him.
Particularly when you look at the Temple scenario, of him being utterly rejected by her. His obsession with Temple and her rejection of him seemed to really highlight his motives. Then there was Jenny-Beth. Stunning young woman, and her rejection of him. I think by 2006 Matthew was broken beyond repair.
What is wrong to me about all the stories that came out in 2021 – a lot of these women were his fans.
That Matthew Good spent hours of his life, looking through his fan base online, and picking out women, often young, some maybe even too young, and messaging them via social media. Buttering them up, in some cases gaslighting them to believe they were special, and eventually asking them to service him sexually.
I don’t think that is necessarily coercion in the sense of the law, there was no threat, I think they were all willing adult women, but it is despicable behaviour – and ultimately really fucking sad. It is sad that he was compelled to use his fan base that way. To use these woman as disposable. I do find that rather pathetic. Maybe it is pathetic of the women too.
I have to accept that despite my assumption that whatever Matthew Good and I once shared meant more than a pump and dump scenario – for him – I was just another set of orifices.
Matt was a decent enough looking man in his younger years, before the decades of illness, debauchery and mental health issues wore his looks away. He never had trouble finding attractive women in his orbit. I just don’t fully comprehend why he felt he needed to seek out his fans in the way that he did. I suppose it is the addiction. The easy access. The control he wielded.
I suppose it is his own lack of self-respect for himself?
It is my opinion, that it is, because Matthew Good is a sex addict. And it is just my opinion, mainly because it could be said I, too, have compulsive sexual behavioural problems myself.
Takes one to know one?
If you have followed his career, he has always been telling on himself. Whether it was the Pirate in search of Booty, the interview comments about getting chicks, the links to “Tits and Kittens” on his website or the sexual manner his wives were presented, the music videos with sexual women, the lyrics of a lot of his songs… he hid it in plain sight.
The only question is – was what he did with these women – was it a form of abuse?
Loose Lips Sink Ships
Celebrities have been using Non-Disclosure Agreements to attempt to silence the people they have random sex with for as long as such things have existed. None of the women Matthew had experiences with, ever signed any such thing, but many were told his usual parting words. That he wasn’t looking for anything serious.
I guess that back fired, because things got pretty serious when he was accused of using his fan base for his own sexual needs.
However, it is notable, in a way – he did have these women agree to a contract, indirectly.
I have a lot of our correspondence over the years, and due to Matthew’s obsessions, he often wrote out in great detail, what he wanted to happen – sexually – between us. It is in a way a contract.
A script to follow.
Many women showed text conversations or emails, that also showed that is his MO pattern. He goes to great detail about what to wear, how to stand or sit or what to bring, positions to do and in what order. It is very much a scripted contract.
He is also open to negotiation, if you do not want to do something he might try to persuade you otherwise, but ultimately with me, he always accepted my response, if I said no. He accepted my refusals.
Several of the women claimed he “forced” them, because he yelled at them when he didn’t get what he wanted. I have really hard time believing that. He never did that with me. If I said no, he might say are you sure or complain about it, but always, we just moved on. Yet, I accept that he could be one way with me and treat another totally differently.
Matthew Good is an Entitled POS
Typically that word Starfish is an insult to women that just lay there doing nothing during sex – but it fits Matt. He is the master and you are the servant. He does little to nothing during sex but lay there. Prior to the sexual encounter he has given you that script, of what he wants done to him (via text or email or other means) and the instructions of what to do, in what order, and he lays there.
He might say a few things, he might move positions, he might gently touch you in certain positions – but he is directing you and generally he is just laying there, or just there. There is no intimacy, it was very robotic and fake to be honest. An emotionless void pornographic fantasy.
It was a kinky adventure, to do when I was younger, as I have admitted, I had some of my own sexual addictions before. It was thrilling to meet in different locations and be taboo – when I was younger.
I personally don’t know if Matthew Good is capable of having romantic intimate sex. Which is sad, because it is the best sex when you look deep into your lovers eyes and connect. Love can make it hot.
I wanted to present the following comments from Hayley herself and the women in the VOMG Facebook group affirm that – that Matthew Good just laid there. Because how is he physically forcing anyone? If women did willingly do, the sexual things he requested they do, they did so for their own reasons, there does not seem to ever be a threat noted in any of the comments. So where is the abuse?
My Opinion: Matthew Good Owes An Apology
Matthew Good does owe the women an apology.
I currently don’t believe he is capable of being physically aggressive, or that he could force anyone to do something against their will. I didn’t seen any evidence of it, or hear/read anything that made me believe the allegations of rape or being forced. (The most severe accusations, had the least or no information backing them.)
I do however believe he treated these women as disposable. I do believe he lied about having sex with them, to cover his ass, when he was cheating in his marriages or relationships. I do believe he owes an apology for all of that.
Sex addicts like alcoholics and drug addicts can leave a swath of destruction in their wake. Broken hearts, broken homes, and yes even risk other people’s health and their own due to sexually transmitted diseases.
A few of the screenshots show women talking about HPV.
Matthew Good claims his first wife gave him two strains of HPV, and that those two strains are not the types to cause cancer. Should he have disclosed this to the women he was sleeping with? Yes. Should he have used condoms in the sexual encounters? Yes.
I am actually surprised he didn’t always use condoms as it was standard rule between us. He and I always discussed the health risks, and confirmed our safety in our sex life. As a responsible adult, that is sexually active – getting protection, providing protection, and getting regularly tested for all possible sexually transmitted diseases and infections is the right thing to do.
Even so, having read the accusations out there, I would suggest that he needs to apologize for possibly exposing these women a non-cancerous form of HPV.
Furthermore, I believe he owes an apology to the people that got caught in the fallout over all these decades. His music associates, producers, managers, band mates, his family, his friends.
It’s a long list.
Matthew Good owes his fans an apology.
I believe, if he did apologize, after such an apology he would deserve a chance at redemption.
I don’t expect this to ever happen though.
Updated September 23, 2023 Originally Posted January 6, 2022